This is one of my favorite posts from my Friday posts on Inspired By Sarah. I re-read it today after having on-of-those-days...with a fussy 12 week old that wouldn't nap and was driving mommy insane. I hope you enjoy!!!
What a Week! From taking care of a newborn, to computer troubles (reason for late post), to chores (which didn't get done), to Baby E's first shots. It has been an up and down sort of week. The little bright light in all the stress and exhaustion of this week was going to our Church's Prophetic Prayer night. I had only been prayed over once and the first time it kinda weirded me out. People talking in tongues, "hearing" from the Holy Spirit, telling you what the Lord has for you...not things you grow up with when you have spent the majority of your life in a Catholic church. So, this time I was a little more prepared. My husband discussed with me what to expect from this experience and I was VERY excited to go and see the words that the Lord had for me.
Many people don't know this about me...but about 7 years ago I started to have panic attacks. The kind where all of a sudden you feel like you are having a heart attack. Your heart races, you get clammy hands, you get dizzy, and you just have to drop whatever you are doing and LEAVE. I can remember the first one...I was in the doctor's office with a friend and had this uncontrollable urge that I had to leave...that my life depended on it. Then they would come at the most unpredictable times. In line at the grocery store (there were times I would have to leave my cart full of groceries), in elevators, in my car, watching TV. For no rhyme or reason they would just consume me. These panic attacks ended up developing into constant anxiety. Anxiety of them happening and not having a way out...Anxiety of them never getting better....Anxiety that I was broken...the anxiety lead to depression...it's a vicious cycle. I was depressed because I wasn't myself anymore, because I couldn't do the things I enjoyed. I was constantly putting together "escape plans" in case of an attack. I was no longer my carefree, outgoing self. It took me a long time to get help. There is still such a stigma that goes along with "mental" disorders. I was worried people would look at me like I was crazy. Well my doctor put me on an antidepressant and it was a lifesaver. However, I still struggled with the panic attacks and anxiety on a daily basis. I was always on edge with worry in the back of my mind. This brings me to the words the Lord had for me when I was prayed for.
The first words that were said to me were "the Lord gives me a picture of a calm ocean at sunset. There are no waves, no ripples, just complete calm. He has you in a place of rest right now. You are calm and happy with where you are." CALM?! That is not the word I would have used to ever describe myself. However since Baby E was born I have finally felt like God has brought me my purpose in life...to be a mom. I have been at peace with everything. I have had no anxiety and no stress. I know that I cannot be a parent alone, and I think for the first time I have completely surrendered myself to God...knowing that I need his help...and he has blessed me with Peace. Instead of worrying about worrying...or worrying about the baby, or about being a parent, or really about everything, I Pray. I know God has me in this place for a reason and that He is my rock...through all the ups and downs.
Philippians 4:6
The Message (MSG)6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
WORKOUTSo, I am not a Yoga expert...however I love it when I am tired and stressed out. You can get a GREAT calming mind-body makeover. Since I am not a yogi, Google has provided me with many-a-great yoga workouts! Here is one of my favorite from Fitness Magazine!! I hope you enjoy. Just click the link below!
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